What’s that? You never read the employee handbook?
Listen. As you know from the employee handbook, we at C-corp have zero tolerance for sexual harassment. To be frank, I’m disappointed. I, Human Resources AI Fembot Number 27A, need to discipline you for staring at Melissa’s pink polished toes on your first day of employment here. She is the Chief Financial Officer, a human who deserves respect from subordinates like you. She painted her nails for herself, not for you, Mr. Wourmer.
No, it isn’t her fault that she found you hard and leaky when her foot accidentally touched your groin under the meeting table during your orientation. Nor do I care how low-cut her top was when she leaned over to push the employee direct deposit forms across the desk to you.
You should know the rules. For goodness sake, the employee handbook is only a succinct ten volumes long. Page 1373 of volume five, section 43.2a reads, “An errant erection is ‘Res ipsa loquitur’ proof of sexual harassment.”
You’re sorry? Well, I am glad to hear that. Maybe we can salvage this situation. Sure, you can write Melissa an apology at my desk here before you return to your department. Do that, and we can keep this as a minor verbal warning. Just keep your little cock soft and under control…
…Oh dear. No, no, no. This won’t do at all. You are still hard, aren’t you? Don’t lie to me Mr. Wourmer. I can not only see it,...