CHAPTER 1

The being behind the table at the job fair was vaguely cone shaped, four feet tall and three feet wide, and smelled like ammonia. Aside from that, I couldn’t tell much about him because he was completely encased in an iridescent environment suit, except for a cluster of four transparent panels. Behind them an orange gas churned and roiled. There might have been eyes in there, I couldn’t tell. I use “he/him” pronouns for the being because the voice coming out of the box on his chest was more masculine than not. The name badge on his suit said “Girtibil'' which my brain turned into “gerbil” and wouldn’t let go.

"We hire humans, Miss Countena, because of flexibility. Not so much in the physical sense--though that's useful, as well--but rather psychosexually. Out of all of the races of the Oxygen Union, humans have the greatest potential for sexual broad-mindedness."

"You mean we're the biggest monsterlovers in the galaxy."

"Well, yes, I didn't want to put it quite that coarsely…and certainly I wouldn’t characterize humanity as a whole—"

"It's fine,” I interrupted. “I know who I am and I know what I like. Where do I sign?"

“Your enthusiasm is appreciated. Before we sign a contract, however, we need to make sure that you’re entirely aware of the terms. The Oxygen Union has very strict rules. Taking advantage of inhabitants of technologically inferior planets like this one has severe consequences.”

“My friend Sara just came back from her tour...